Why I Blog (or, Therapy Matters)
The strength of blogging is that us bloggers get to reach out into the seemingly endless void of the internet and find others to prop up our egos or flat out go tell us to fly a kite (or, go to hell). The real talent are those people who can write a reply to your post, profoundly agree with what you said in their first paragraph, then spend the rest of their reply nicely telling the you how much of an intellectual buffoon you are. Gotta love it. Yet as bloggers we relish the number of followers we can get as if it were some medal of honor achievement to have 5,231 followers who you think are indulging in your every printed word as if you were the Pied Piper or the Dali Lama.
I suppose if you have one of those strangely ornate blog sites that resembles a bad LSD trip (I am guessing) and the theme of your post is really your own inability to deal with reality in which you masquerade it with mindless and incoherent platitudes, you’re not likely to get many replies objecting to your… well, any opinion you mistakenly wrote down. On the other hand, pseudo-intellectuals like myself, venture into the world of posting opinion with the risk of having someone reply something similar to “Your head is way too far up your ass, pal.” But you know, when you get that one reply.. the one that crowns you the epitome of all wisdom, the best read they ever had, that above all others you’ve summed up life as it really is (or should be)… that makes up for all those idiot naysayers. ( I really dislike blogs with cats and middle aged women with blog sites decorated with daisies and butterflies who post about their road trip to Door County last Fall. I mean, yes, they are entitled to their “thing”.. it’s just that I can’t have an alternate opinion regarding colorful leaves. I think I’m blog jaded.)
The other great thing about blogging is that I get to quite often play naysayer. The blog-world is chock full of people who think they have all the answers. Now, as a believer in common sense (preferably my own), I already know I typically have all the answers. Some of my readers also believe that… too my face (when they click on the “X” in the upper right corner of the screen to exit… well, that’s another story). The others constantly need convincing. Some try and post an alternate opinion reply on my blog.. then I go to their blog site and post naysayer thoughts just to let them know “I am watching you, dumbass.”
That’s the other trick… using words to let some incompetent blogger know how incompetent he or she is without getting personal and using nasty words. BUT.. the important thing is that you have to be thinking those nasty words as you write your reply. If you don’t it’s sort of like stopping sex before you are finished (you know, as I wrote that just now I suddenly became aware that I knew that feeling). Anyway, when you’re blogging your own opinions that’s no time to put on a condom.
All sexual references aside (I know that feeling, too) I blog because I have something to say and in here I can force it down your damn cyber throat if I want to. Now, you can spit it out back at me because you have a different opinion.. but it doesn’t make you right. But here’s the irony. Unless you dispute my opinions I will feel like an apple pie without the apples… dried out and collapsed onto myself. Who wants apple pie without the apples?
“No truer words were ever
spoken written.”, he said, patting himself on the back.